Mindfulness: Observing Our Experiences with Curiosity and Compassion

Mindfulness plays a key role in the Hakomi Method, a holistic therapeutic approach I utilize in my practice that many people are unfamiliar with. 

With the help of mindfulness, I teach my clients to create awareness of the interplay between their thoughts, emotions, and body. Such realizations pave the way for self-healing and transformation.

But what does it mean to be mindful? How exactly do I use it in therapy? And how can you learn to be mindful?

Using Mindfulness in Therapy

When you first come to my office, perhaps you expect to spend much of the session talking about your personal history. After all, a common perception of therapy is that it involves a great deal of discussion about things that have contributed to the emotional pain you’re currently facing. And so, you may assume that I will be the one providing psychological insights and helpful answers for the turmoil you feel.

While addressing past experiences and traumas can certainly be part of therapy, my aim is to guide you to greater self-insight, not through excessive words and discussion—but through mindfulness. 

As you learn to mindfully listen to what your body and emotions are telling you, I invite you to bring an attitude of compassion and acceptance to the situation. The idea is to suspend judgment and to observe the situation with greater flexibility and curiosity. A key component of being able to do this and incorporate mindfulness into therapy (and your life) is learning to slow down. 

Slowing Down and Noticing

With a mindfulness approach, you are encouraged to slow down and become an observer of experiences as they unfold. This is not natural for most of us. Mostly we have learned to problem-solve, analyze, or figure it all out.

Our thoughts often run a mile a minute, frantically trying to remember our to-do list and what’s on the schedule for the day. This is even true of our approach toward goals of self-growth. Thoughts and emotions can be several steps ahead of us, insisting that we fix our emotional pain now. However, change and healing can actually proceed more peacefully and effectively when we learn to slow down.

One of my key roles as a therapist is to create an environment in which you can slow down enough to observe not only your thoughts but, just as importantly, your body. 

When you live in your head, you’re often out of touch with what your body is telling you. And when you’re out of touch with your body, you miss enormous clues and information about the source of your emotional pain, as well as awareness of your strengths and internal/external resources. But, during sessions, with the help of mindfulness, we will be able to focus on what is happening in your body and your thoughts in the present moment. 

Observing with Curiosity and Compassion

The goal of slowing down and observing is to become curious about the sensations and feelings you experience. 

For example, if you remember a past argument with someone, we will sit with that memory as you experience it again and simply notice: How does your body feel? Is your chest or stomach tight? Do unpleasant emotions make it hard for you to stay with that memory?

The amazing thing about our bodies is that they are not able to lie to us. While our thoughts may tell us things about ourselves that aren’t true, our bodies aren’t able to do this. 

So, if sitting with a memory or thought makes you feel nauseated or creates tension in your forehead, you can trust what your body is telling you. There is a reason. Such physiological reactions don’t occur for no reason.

By mindfully observing your body, you allow unconscious, ignored sensations to open up and make contact with conscious experience. The goal is not to judge or demean yourself. Rather than beat yourself up over emotional discomfort and perceived weaknesses, mindfulness invites you to become observant, suspend judgment, and allow your awareness to be a creative, expansive way of learning and growing.

Simply observe with curiosity. It will give you the ability to build deeper self-understanding and connect the dots between past emotional experiences and how they affect you today.

Harnessing the Power of Mindfulness

Mindfulness is an amazing, powerful therapeutic tool—an expanded state of awareness. 

It can help you recognize the defenses and strategies you use to protect yourself emotionally but that interfere with feeling joy and alive. And it can offer you breakthroughs and growth that may have long been desired but not found through other therapy methods.

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If you’re curious about the Hakomi Method or how mindfulness and somatic therapy can help you, please reach out to me for more information.